In this blog I want to share some of my inspiration and information about sexual essence and polarity, so you can discover your sexual essence and know and live it more fully.  From who we are being, comes what we experience moment to moment.

I have a passion for storytelling. Having been a filmmaker it’s not surprising. Nearly all of my films are about relationships, spirituality and sexuality. In my Living Love work, I’m passionate about the unfolding of the human Love story and our struggles to love fiercely and fully in a challenging world. A world that is currently neutralizing our masculine and feminine essences in the pursuit of political correctness and equality. This has benefits but also a disturbing cost.

Recently I went to the Virtual Reality sessions at the local Byron Bay Film Festival. I put on the goggles and headphones and immersed myself in an intriguing VR movie, called I,Phillip. Wow! A cool, mind bending means of storytelling.

There was an experts panel there too, and fascinating insights about using VR to increase our empathy with others, by being more engaged in their reality. That could be an exciting use of this rapidly evolving technology, and increase our experience of union. But what about developing empathy and unity in real life? Developing the art of feeling into another human being so fully that you can feel them from the inside. You are them and they are you. This is the union of love, the union of tantra, of masculine and feminine that we all seek. Immersion in loving others and the amazing world around us.

In sexual love

During sexual love we have the polarity of opposites – masculine and feminine essence which are magnetically attracted to each other. In deep connection, they are feeling into one another, then merging into oneness with no limits. Then coming apart again to create the polarity, the attraction and the desire to merge again. Lots of juicy relating in this dance of opposites as you discover your sexual essence.

For this to happen we need firstly to be able to drop into and embrace our own essence. Each person has their unique flavor of masculine and feminine. We all have both to some degree but most people are predominately one or the other. It’s not always gender related, but mostly men have a core masculine essence and women have a core feminine essence.

Feminine essence

Feminine essence is flowing, receptive, communal, cyclical, chaotic, full, surrendered, nurturing, creative, the Shakti life-force. The feminine essence is motivated by love, and specifically the fullness of love. Either through partners, children, family, friends, worthy causes, colleagues, spiritual gurus, or pets. She needs to be seen, appreciated and praised to open and flower. In love making she prefers to be pleasured, ravished, fully seen, taken, claimed with love.

Masculine essence

Masculine essence is witnessing, dynamic, mission-orientated, directional, focused, alone, detached, penetrative. The masculine essence is motivated by his mission, by being effective in the world, by his purpose, his spiritual enlightenment. Either through achievement, business, knowledge, sports, spiritual teachings or systems. He wants to be challenged in order to grow and go deeper. In love making he prefers to ravish, pleasure, penetrate, see into her, and claim his partner in love.

Which sexual essence are you?

Which one do you relate to the most? What do you do most often? But which one would feel the most enlivening, real and desirable for you to live? Often we are living with a protective layer over our true essence, scared to get hurt, or to be seen as too dominant or vulnerable. Trust your gut instincts on this one. Trust that your own essence is right and good, and to discover your sexual essence is necessary for spiritual and personal growth. It’s not black and white either, we all have some of the opposite but which is going to make you the happiest in your life?

We all have both masculine and feminine essence and need to use both in different circumstances. However a problem can be when we get stuck in a mode that is not natural to our essence. For example, a woman who has to make multiple decisions all day at work and be very directional and responsible is using a lot of masculine energy. When she goes on a date or comes home to her masculine essence partner, her energy can push him away or create a ‘blokey’ relationship, with a painful loss of libido and attraction.

Or when a man with a masculine essence is minding the children all day, developing his feminine nurturing side, feeling a lot of emotions, healing himself. He becomes not so attractive to his woman. They may both love each other deeply but the relationship can become dead over time, and devoid of full, fierce or gentle, sexual love. Unless they learn how to avoid the pitfalls of neutralizing or swapping essences, or learn how to quickly create the spark of their natural opposites.

In my next blog – how you can INCREASE your masculine or feminine essence in daily life.

with love

Cynthia