Over the last 15 years, like many of you, I have been partnered and single and understand the unique openings and challenges of both. Many of my single clients complain that they never meet potential partners and yet are reluctant to try online dating, or tried it and gave up. As it is the biggest source of single people looking for love isn’t it crazy to ignore it, hoping you will run into someone at the farmers market as you both reach for the same avocado? How many times in your life have you truly been in love with a great partner? Not that many I bet, so its not an every day occurrence and it isn’t likely to happen in a week on rsvp. However the following online dating tips for singles can make your experiences much easier and more successful.
A growing number of singles are finding love online – currently one in six relationships start online, both in dating sites or social media, and the percentage is higher for older age groups. So it’s a good place to meet potential partners.
But how to avoid disappointment, frustration and giving up? Here are some online dating tips for singles to enhance your experience:
- Polarity between the sexes works the same online as in face to face meetings. Masculine and feminine essence are like magnets to each other. So if you want to attract your desirable opposite the first step is for your ‘profile’ to project your essence.If you are a MAN, women reading your profile are drawn to your presence, lack of ego, and a mix of security and adventure. A man who loves and honors women and knows how to hold steady in the midst of feminine flow is very attractive. Using too many words will make women feel like they are chatting to a girlfriend rather than being riveted by a man. A good photo where you look into the camera with direct eye contact (and absolutely no sunglasses) will be a major draw card. Calling yourself a ‘boy’ or ‘lonely’ in your profile name is generally a turn–off to women who want to partner a man.If you are a WOMAN, men may not be primarily interested in your job or career but more drawn to your unique, feminine shakti essence. Your playful, warm or offbeat nature. They want to feel ‘you’ through the words. A profile is not a resume or a job application, its an invitation. Part of that invitation will be your radiance, the inner glow of the heart coming through. Your achievements in the world are important as they show how interesting and textured you are, and stable. If you emphasize the sexual you will attract men looking more for sex. Your openness, self honoring and sense of fun will attract men looking for a woman to enhance their life. Have a close friend or two look at your profile and give feedback.
- Create a profile that ‘shows’ who you are through real–life examples rather than lists of qualities or activities. Don’t be afraid to be quirky, heartfelt and in the moment.
- Online dating is not for the faint hearted – there will be disappointments, fakes and players online but there are also great people looking for love. Some people have one ‘bad’ connection and run away, reinforcing their belief that ‘there are no good men/women out there’, and miss out.
- Don’t spend too much time on emails, progress quickly to a phone call or a coffee date. If they are long distance be wary of investing months of connecting (aka projecting) before you meet up in person.
- Having a rigid set of criteria for a partner is a barrier. Online dating can be flawed by the mind being too judgmental, mentally sitting back with a list that no-one can live up to. In person when we meet someone at work or socially, we feel their whole being and how our heart resonates with theirs, as well as alignment and chemistry. Do the same online, be open to the connection, the polarity, the shared values and vision, and see how love’s magic want to unfold. There is a place for discernment (and protection) but be alert how you are using it. To take care of yourself not to fulfill negative beliefs that love is not for you.
- And once you start dating the fun begins! And even when you think you have found Mr or Ms Right, its a good idea not to become exclusive with anyone until you have the relationship you want.
I do hope these online dating tips for singles are helpful to you in your adventures in love.