I am writing this blog leading up to Christmas in the midst of a new wave of COVID and for many people living in Australia our restrictions have relaxed, while in other countries they are ramping up again. We are each finding our way in amongst the changing nature of the pandemic, the heartache, the safety versus risk decisions we are all individually making. Love Your way at Christmas is timely.

Yesterday two friends told me they have cancelled their festive invites and are now staying home alone with a bottle of champagne and treats. They are among those more vulnerable. Others are choosing different options. That’s why I say Love Your Way, do what is right for you, and what is right for the community your live in. We are not seperate and isolated beings, we are one.

Here are 8 Tips and suggestions to enrich your holiday season:

1. Make it your own, love your way!

Decide what you want to feel and experience this season. Let your imagination run free for a moment. Get clarity for yourself.

How can you nourish yourself and others in the most rewarding way this year? What is your best form of celebration and joy, relaxation and loving connections? What do you need and what can you initiate?  Make sure it does no harm to others and go for it!

2. The Good is Very Good.

Find a quiet space and make a list of all your openings, breakthroughs, positive changes and achievements during 2021. Savour the good experiences in your life. We are making it through a global pandemic!

Recent brain research shows that savoring even one good thing primes us for happiness and increases our self worth.  Dwell on these moments, expand them and breathe them in. Start now and continue in the days ahead.

3. Intimacy.

At this time of the year we can get stressed trying to live up to crazy expectations that leave us feeling a lack of intimacy, even with those close to us. Instead, if you value and prioritise intimacy and love, you will have a much more fulfilling time. This can be with a partner, friends, family. It can be done in-person and on zoom. What matters most, after all?

If you are in couple and spending time with others, it’s vital to make time to be alone to nourish your love. If you are single even more important to favour intimacy with beloveds. Intimate moments with strangers can also be nourishing when mutual.

4. Turn it around

At Christmas time we are flooded by the media with the ideals of the perfect family, happy days and fabulous relationships. The reality is many people are lonely, fight with their families, or exhaust themselves trying to ‘get it right’.

If you are struggling this year, you can turn it around. Join a gathering or start one yourself. Let your friends or family know what you need. Don’t try and handle it all on your own. Many people enjoy an ‘orphans’ Christmas lunch with friends.

And if you blessed in this area, who can you include?

5. Endings lead to new beginnings

As the year comes to an end it’s a good time to reflect on what’s ending, and let it go as you wish. No forcing, just acknowledging what’s ending and feel it dissolving back into existence. With a glass of wine or herbal tea late at night, or on your yoga mat at dawn – tune in and choose your deepest most powerful time to do this ritual.

6. Give the gift of you.

The best present you can give is yourself. How can you gift others this Christmas? Perhaps deep listening and masculine presence, a poem or a kind word or gesture. Feminine connection, care and cookies. Making time for someone who needs it. It’s your unique contribution that matters.

7. Say yes to what is!

What we resist tends to hang around so if you find yourself gritting your teeth over the commercial jingles, the cultural expectations, the family patterns, the drunken squabbles, then practice the way of the Tao. Be like water that flows around obstacles and keeps swishing its own merry way. Breathe and create afresh. Be who you want to be.

Deal with what is here and now, and don’t worry about the future.

8. Celebrate like you mean it.

Holiday time means time for you to celebrate. What’s your thing? Cooking delicious meals with all your senses alive and zinging? Making music with your friends and stirring the soul? A beach adventure, having lots of great sex or simply winding down at home? (or all of the above!)

Go for it – no guilt, be total!

Love

Cynthia

The post Love Your Way at Christmas appeared first on Living Love | Relationship Workshops & Coaching for Intimacy, Connection & Growth.

Would you like to find your sacred gifts?

Revising this article from the original during the current COVID pandemic I am aware that many people naturally feel restricted, unseen and stalled in their life. Their dreams are on hold, if not dead. And yet I see how the people who find and hold on to their sacred intention, inspiration and gifts are thriving much better than those who are not. Even if your current reality is somewhat dark or fearful, this provides light and direction.

It involves a lot more than a positive affirmation or two. It is a foundation for your entire life. To create and sustain that, we need to understand how these elements work together and then go beyond our fears by using our inner resources.

Intention – we can have many smaller intentions, but here I refer to the big picture, what really matters to us, what is the forward momentum of our lives in a ‘higher self’ sacred sense. How is spirit working through us?

Inspiration – our individual muse, what turns us on, colors our intention and brings it to life, and makes the way we give our gifts and talents unique.

Gifts – our natural and developed talents and skills, making up our unique energetic blueprint. Gifts are given in service to others.

Fear – a barrier to moving forward in our evolution, our growth and the growth of others. It is a contraction or protection that can be hidden under our compensating personalities.

Resources – grounded and real ways we can self-soothe, overcome trauma, reduce anxiety, compassionately move through fear and triumph over adversity.

Our sacred intention

Our sacred intention is seen and felt in all aspects of our lives – our sexuality, relationships, work, lifestyle. Also called a higher purpose, life purpose, sacred pathway, dharma. It can be a mystical sense of what we are called to do, or a reason to be of service unfolding through life. More on purpose here.

To create our intentions in an embodied, authentic way we need both masculine and feminine energies – the doing and acting of the masculine and the creativity, grace and receiving of the feminine. We may also need to learn how to charge up and flow more energy in our bodies through breath, movement, energy work.

When we can feel this intention beyond our own self focus, it gives us the impetus to move through fear. Fear is a barrier to growth but also a doorway to our evolution. To deeply embrace fear in oneself and others, is so tender, so empowering, that we can only bow down in recognition of the grace this unleashes. It increases our humility, care and compassion.

Fear is there to keep us safe

Fear is there to keep us safe. It is a wise response to threat, but the problem is that when even that threat is not there, it can still hold us back. To embrace our fear and release past traumas we need a compassionate, healing and therapeutic space. We can use our tools and resources to help the process. Tools of embodiment, breath work, meditation, insights, inquiry, therapy, opening and grounding practices. Read more here.

Beyond fear is recognition that we the source of our creativity. As Robert Fritz writes in The Path of Least Resistance, you must be ‘the predominant creative force in your own life’. And reclaim the ability to create things in your life just because you want to, without needing the approval of others.

Inspiration is not a ‘should’… it’s what turns you on

Inspiration is not a ‘should’… it’s what turns you on. I am fascinated by the role in creative history of the artist and their muse. The artist (traditionally masculine) is inspired and fascinated by their model (traditionally feminine) or by nature. She is the stimulus to create their art.

Similarly, we are each inspired by different things – people, music, nature, ideas, technology and innovation – our muses. These give us the juice for our sacred intentions to create. Trust your muse, it is that inspiration from your spirit.

There may not yet be any evidence for one’s intention or inspiration – it is yet to be made real. It may be a dream, a whisper, an inkling.  Inspiration is a valuable delight. Intention is not about self-improvement, but about the deep realization of one’s part to play in the evolution of love and consciousness.

Keep feeling and naming what really matters to you. Look deeper, feel more, trust more, ground yourself more. Don’t be serious but be deadly serious. Just take the next small step in trusting yourself. The appearance of effortless creating and inspiration is generally a process of practice and mastery over time.

A key part of this is identifying your gifts

A key part of this is identifying your gifts which is made up of your natural talents, skills, your energetic imprint. And being free to give these gifts to the world, in your own way, within your sphere of influence, big or small.

Ideally each person can confidently give their gifts to each other and to all. And be expanded and sometimes challenged by that gifting

Be proud of your gifts – we are not giving to get, we are giving our gifts because we are connected to sacred intention and purpose.

The trifecta is the combination of intention, inspiration and gifts coming together in a form that expands yourself and is of service to others.

It is helpful to draw on the power of others – individuals and groups of people holding ‘inspired certainty’ for each other’s gifts and possibilities. This is tremendously helpful in dispelling doubts. Through trustable others sharing what they see in us, we see ourselves more clearly, we appreciate ourselves more, and so are more able to freely give our unique gifts to the world.

………….

Questions to stimulate your exploration into your intention, inspiration and gifts:

What are 3 things that have inspired you today? A success, a poem, a person, inspirational writing, your children’s smile, a cloud formation……

What inspires you about them?

If you could, what would you want to change in the world?

What 3 things would your 3 closest friends say they receive from you?

…………

Feel free to share any aha! moments you have in the comments.

love

Cynthia

The post Find your Sacred Gifts appeared first on Living Love | Relationship Workshops & Coaching for Intimacy, Connection & Growth.