Couples who come to the Living Love workshops do resolve many issues and problems in their intimate relationship. And beyond that the workshops take a couple into deeper, sacred connection, embodying their masculine and feminine essence. Then we see in relationship workshops that what goes wrong can come right.

Men and women come to the Living Love workshops for many reasons. They may have relationship issues to solve, intimacy skills to learn, curiosity (and frustrations) about their opposite.

Our habitual contractions and self-protections usually come from our past experiences, in childhood or in previous relationships. Perhaps we were abandoned or our trust was broken. This can lead to personal wounding, fears and doubts. These all restrict the flow of energy and love available for yourself and others. These patterns and protections sadly create what we fear. And this keeps us stuck in painful patterns and cycles that keeps spinning.

Feminine essence

Over the years of running workshops and doing couples counselling I have found differences in mens and womens issues. Those with a more feminine essence often are more likely to have protection and wariness from past hurts and deep disappointments in relationships. She always suffers from lack of love in relationship.

In the face of betrayal or not being loved fully they start to think they are ‘too much’ or ‘not good enough.’ Or they become overly critical of the masculine as a way to distance themselves and stay ‘safe’. They claim their partner is ‘not loving them enough’ or in the ‘right way’. They unconsciously believe that by withdrawing, not being vulnerable, or numbing their feelings, they will be safer. Actually in the context of love and intimacy vulnerability is a primary energy that draws the masculine into relationship.

Masculine essence

Those with a more masculine essence can be wary of commitment, concerned about the lack of freedom in relationship. They may not yet be connected to the authentic depth of freedom and awareness inside themselves. Or they are not mature enough to have realised the freedom that comes from deep commitment and integrity, and chosen responsibility. They can be lacking confidence about their masculine energy. And wondering how to find love and support from a great woman. Or by becoming lost in the feminine, lost in their own doubt, they can become less trustable. Even becoming a ‘pleaser’ disconnected from his own core. He can even become rejecting and dismissive, withdrawing, as a means of protection. And yet he has a deep need to be loved by the feminine.

How it comes right

In the Living Love workshops the ways in which these issues. and others, are resolved is different for each person. And yet there are threads of understanding that are similar. When the feminine connects to and values her own love, feelings, intuition and her power, then she relates to the masculine in a very different way. She is sitting confidently in herself, allowing her flow of feelings and her vulnerability. Anger and tears and deep yearning may be expressed. She transforms in the workshops when she is received and heard by the masculine.

For many women to be loved and accepted by the masculine as she is is very healing. Safe to be in her feminine essence, vulnerable, alive, powerful, fiercely loving. And as she experiences the masculine meeting her, encouraging her, she expresses more of who she really is. She trusts herself and her love flows freely again.

For the masculine in the Living Love workshops he experiences the inherent freedom in his being. And how to deepen into that within commitment and responsibility. He meets the trustable masculine in himself and the other men. And so he gets a truer reflection of the nobility and power of masculine essence. From there he is able to be present more fully for the feminine, for whatever she is feeling or thinking, without losing his own centre or taking it personally. This is what she yearns for and what brings out her devotional heart.

For him here is also the relief and delight of meeting the loving feminine heart. He is directly enlivened by her open feminine energy. Loving feedback from her gives him the right amount of challenge and direction to adjust and deepen himself. He becomes more trustable and starts getting different responses from the feminine. He experiences polarity with the feminine that is wild and free, with deep integrity.

Balance of safety and risk

The practices, talks and sharings in the workshops are layered to allow his and her core essence to be strengthened, and for the centre of an issue to reveal itself. A skilful balance of safety and risk creates real transformation, more love and deeper connection, more playfulness too. Problems are approached with creativity and heart to reveal a couples true love and intimacy.

with love

Cynthia

The post Relationship Workshops – What Goes Wrong Can Come Right appeared first on Living Love | Relationship Workshops & Coaching for Intimacy, Connection & Growth.

I Love You: I Trust You is an attitude, a way of deeply giving to our partner. Understanding the different masculine and feminine essence needs and motivations makes a profound difference in how we are received by the other.

Those beautiful words ‘I Love You’ make her heart flood open, penetrating through layers of feminine ‘weather’ and leaving trails of happiness. She feels like a goddess. ‘I trust you’ are the more powerful words for the masculine essence to hear and feel. He straightens his spine and relaxes his belly, feeling like a hero with trustable direction and purpose.

These cannot be empty phrases. Given sincerely and acted on they are extremely potent at ending disagreements and closures and evoking sexy polarity between a couple.

THE FEMININE ESSENCE longs to be completely seen and deeply loved. In intimacy that is by a masculine essence who really sees her, meets her, and isn’t afraid of her. This is the core need at the heart of  the feminine discontent. To be guided out of her moods and disaffection by a trustable loving force. Behind the arguments and the criticisms we find a woman longing to be penetrated by love. A funny way to go about it, it seems counter intuitive, but it’s what happens when the feminine primary longing becomes distorted. It is her protection and it may even make sense, but it causes a lot of confusion and heartache.

For the masculine on the receiving end its to easy to react to her surface moods and emotions, which are often swirling and even attacking. He wants to withdraw until she has calmed down. Or to fight her and convince her to be reasonable, and that he is right. She may be temporarily subdued or repressed, but none of that works for love. When she feels fully known and seen as the flow of love energy that is her nature, especially when its hidden, she will open totally. Open as the most precious devotion, loyalty and shining beauty that will awe her masculine partner.

A Practice for men: Feel her like the weather, ever changing, ever flowing. Look beyond her harsh tone and criticism and feel her vulnerable heart. Why is she here with you spending her amazing energy on you? She wants and needs your masculine love and presence. She longs to unburden herself with you and be real, raw and tender. She needs to know she is loved, by you, here and now. Notice your desire to get away to peacefulness or to repress her, and instead of acting on that, breathe to relax your belly and your chest. Expand your energy to encompass hers. Imagine she is inside your heart and body and that you are filling her with love. Look into her eyes and say ‘I love you’. Full of life, full of love, unafraid. Be willing to persist skillfully until she fully receives your love.

If you are single this practice can be done in a more impersonal way, where you offer the women you meet this trustable attitude of open hearted presence in the face of feminine feelings and moods. Even when you don’t enjoy it, look for the big picture of the flow of life dancing before you. If you are dating you will be in demand as many men withdraw from really loving the feminine.

THE MASCULINE ESSENCE also wants to be deeply loved, but more importantly he wants to be trusted. This increases his masculine essence, his sense of direction and purpose, his awareness. He desires a loving woman who ultimately trusts his direction and integrity and is not afraid to be direct when he is behaving otherwise. Who will trust him to resolve his own dilemmas and problems. Who will honour his masculine ability to find the compass of his life and stay the path. And when he is struggling in his life it is his deepest need to be trustable to himself and others. If he feels her losing trust in him it weakens him and makes it harder for him to succeed in his purpose and mission. Her trust can be like a flicker of hope in the midst of dark despair. When he is fully trusted as the force of clarity that is his nature, even when he is confused or in doubt, he will respond with a depth of integrity and love that brings his partner to tears.

A Practice for women:

If he is your partner you have chosen him for his masculine essence. That’s feel great when he is trustable, aware, present, loving, clear. And letting him know often that you love these qualities in him, that he is your hero, will increase those qualities. But when you see him being confused, lacking direction, withdrawing and not meeting you with love it can be hard to trust him. Look for what is trustable in that moment. Perhaps he isn’t listening to you, he’s pushing a solution on you. But what is his intention – is he trying to help you and he’s clumsy at how to do that? Or he may have had a big loss at work, but he is out there risking failure. Find what is trustable. Offer him your true response but equally say what you trust in him.

Sometimes you may tell him that you trust him to resolve a problem, instead of trying to work it out for him – that makes him feel capable and encourage action on his part. If you offer him this trust then you need to step back and give him the space to solve it his way, in his time. Not always easy but it works. This only works though if you have given your primary response to him, with your trust and spaciousness. Often the masculine takes more time than the feminine to act, he waits until he is certain of success.

Practice this for a week with your partner and see what happens.

If you are single you can practice offering the men in your life your trust. Not with men you don’t trust of course, but where can you extend your trust and openly acknowledge a job well done? Or when a man has helped you and been there for you, let him know how trustable that is. This will attract men into your life who are highly trustable.

I Love You: I Trust You
Many couples spend years feeling disconnected or fighting, not really happy or fulfilled. Wondering if they chose the wrong partner or are themselves unlovable. Or a couple may be  constantly working on the issues and the triggers in their relationship, digging deeper. Digging a big hole that erodes the foundations of their relationship. We are not in relationship to be each other’s therapists, or to work out our ‘stuff’. Some of that inevitably happens and is a great thing, but the focus should be on finding love and trust in the moment, and then the next moment. Getting stronger at doing it when it matters most. Sexually and in the ordinary doings of life, in the difficult times especially.

If you are single its sexy and attractive to know what’s deeply opening to you and a potential partner. It starts from the first date, the offering of love and trust, in small steps that grow over time if the connection continues.

Three magic words  – yet they would not mean much if there were secrets between a couple, manipulations, or bad intentions. But when they are heartfelt offerings, they increase polarity and magnify the love and trust that lives at the heart of the universe and in all of us.

with love

Cynthia

The post I Love You: I Trust You appeared first on Living Love | Relationship Workshops & Coaching for Intimacy, Connection & Growth.

The Living Love workshops resolve issues and problems in intimate relationships. And beyond that focus it take us further into deeper, sacred connection when we explore and embody masculine and feminine essence and differences. Then what goes wrong can come right.

Men and women come to the Living Love workshops with different problems, goals and longings. They may have relationship issues to solve, intimacy skills to learn, curiosity (and frustrations) about their opposite.

Our personal wounding, fears and doubts, all lead to habitual contractions and self-protections. These restrict the flow of energy and love available for self and others.. These patterns and protections sadly create what we fear and this keeps us stuck in painful patterns and cycles that keeps spinning.

Those with a feminine essence often have protection and wariness from past hurts and deep disappointments in relationships. In the face of betrayal or not being loved fully they can start to think they are ‘too much’ or ‘not good enough.’ Or they become overly critical of the masculine as a way to distance themselves and stay ‘safe’. Their claim their partner is ‘not loving them enough’ or in the ‘right way’. They unconsciously believe that by withdrawing, not being vulnerable, or numbing their feelings, they will be safer. Actually in the context of love and intimacy vulnerability is a primary energy that draws the masculine into relationship. She always suffers from lack of love in relationship.

Those with a masculine essence can be wary of commitment, concerned about the lack of freedom in relationship. They may not yet be connected to the authentic depth of freedom and awareness inside themselves. Or they are not mature enough to have realised the freedom that comes from deep commitment and integrity, in responsibility. They can be lacking confidence about their masculine energy and wondering how to find love and support from a great woman. Or by becoming lost in the feminine, lost in their own doubt, they can become less trustable, even becoming a ‘pleaser’ disconnected from his own core. He can even become rejecting and dismissive, withdrawing, as a means of protection. And yet there is a deep need to be met by the feminine.

In the workshops the ways in which these issues. and others, are resolved is of course different for each person. And yet there are threads of understanding that are similar. When the feminine connects to her own love and beauty and values it, then she relates to the masculine from a very different place. She is sitting deeply in herself, allowing her flow of feelings and her vulnerability. Anger and tears and deep yearning may be expressed, and in the workshops they are received and heard by the men.

For many women this is very healing, to be loved and accepted by the masculine as she is. In her feminine essence, vulnerable, alive, powerful, fiercely loving. And as she experiences the masculine meeting her, encouraging her in her full flow of energy, she realises and grounds into more of who she really is. She trusts herself and her love flows freely again.

For the masculine in the workshops he meets the trustable masculine in the other men and so gets a truer reflection of the nobility and power of his own masculine essence. He tastes the freedom in his being and how to deepen that within commitment and responsibility. From there he is able to be present more fully for the feminine, whatever she is feeling or thinking, without losing his own centre or taking it personally, which is what she yearns for and what brings out her devotional heart.

For him here is also the relief and delight of meeting the loving feminine heart. He is directly enlivened by her open feminine energy. Loving feedback from her gives him the right amount of challenge and direction to adjust and deepen himself. He becomes more trustable and starts getting different response from the feminine. He experiences polarity with the feminine that is wild and free, with deep integrity.

The practices, talks and sharings in the workshops are layered to allow the development of individual opening and deepening. For his and her core essence to be strengthened, and for the centre of an issue to reveal itself. A skilful balance of safety and risk provides a container that creates real shifts, and establishes a pathway for further transformation after the workshop. Problems are approached with creativity and heart to reveal love and creative intimacy.

Understanding Masculine & Feminine and what goes wrong and can come right, is not the only factor at play in relationships. Other understandings and skills are explored in the workshops, but it is extremely helpful for relationships to have that polarity and alignment.

with love

Cynthia

The post Masculine & Feminine – what goes wrong can come right appeared first on Living Love | Relationship Workshops & Coaching for Intimacy, Connection & Growth.

December 2015. Doing my first Living Love workshops in China is fulfilling, touching, different and inspiring. I am working in Shanghai and the participants move me with their willingness to love, grow, feel, play and express. In spite of strong cultural differences between China and Australia, I see many similarities in our masculine and feminine essences, heart desires and the protections to opening and deepening.

On this recent visit I ran a 4-day workshop for women called ‘How to be a woman’ and a 5-day Living Love workshop for men and women. Lots of openings, fun, powerful offerings, tears and revelations.

Below are a few photos from the mixed workshop – many practices can’t be filmed of course but here is a taste. Scroll down for women’s workshop photos and more on my journey.

And the women’s workshop was alive and flowing with feminine essence, liberation, tears and joy.

I stay and work in a hotel where I get to look out at the Shanghai skyline, often smoggy, sometimes beautifully clear and sunny. It’s a very populated city, creative and on the move. The host and his team look after me well so I can concentrate on helping the participants in the Living Love workshops in China.

I look forward to my next trip to China. To building more connection with the team and the people, the country. There is a definite need for my work here and a readiness to go deeper into personal growth.

with love

Cynthia

The post Living Love workshops in China appeared first on Living Love | Relationship Workshops & Coaching for Intimacy, Connection & Growth.

By invitation I arrived to lead a Living Love workshop in Shanghai on July 28th to offer a Living Love workshop for 4 days. As it was my first visit to China, it was leap into the unknown in many ways.

I arrived at the bustling airport in Shanghai close to 11pm, after a long day of travel, and was met by the promoter Mr Huang, who speaks no English, and his son who luckily does speak fluent English.  On the long drive to the hotel, through this vast and incredible city, Mr Huang’s son informs me that his father has organised an extra night class during my workshop – a women only night class on sex education, by their request. I was bit surprised but then I thought ‘Ok’, and said ‘Yes’. Inside wondering to myself what will they want to know –  anatomy, orgasmic responses, tantra?

My first day there is a preparation day so I have the morning to sleep, rest and arrive at 1pm for meetings at the hotel training room, which is a windowless room, with a padded floor, full of symbolic objects and Chinese artefacts. Then a quick lunch at the local broth shop wiht Mr Huang and his assistants, where we select our fresh ingredients into a plastic basket which are then cooked in broiling broth, and it was delicious. It’s all very happy and organised in a family type of way, no one speaks English so most of the time I don’t have to talk much, which ends up being relaxing. I can just be and let the sounds flow around me. The main assistant has a phone with a translation app so we can cover the basics.

I had an interpreter and Miranda was a switched on woman, she works with lots of trainers and so understands psychological and workshop language. She gave me good advice at times on how to share my work in her culture.

The first day of the workshop set the scene – the participant introductions were deep, with people revealing big issues and intimate facts. There were a lot of tears. It was predominantly women in the workshop, but even with just a few men as the days went on we managed to get good polarity happening!

I learnt that Family Constellations is very big  in China. There is a sense of being oppressed by one’s ancestors. In one of the workshop open circles, I had an opportunity to address this issue of ancestors in a different way, guiding that by choosing to love now they were healing backwards into their lineage, (and forwards into the future.) That we can’t understand everything from the past and work it though, but we can heal it in the present moment. This was very well received, they were moved and understood.

So many things happened, I was challenged and opened in all kinds of ways. The group loved doing exercises, being up and moving. Simple touch was extremely powerful and emotional as there is little touching in the culture and for some participants not even as children. On the last day we did group theatre pieces exploring a range of sexual essence energies – and they were incredibly beautiful, creative and laugh out loud funny.

It was a packed four days. I did some private sessions too and the night class. The night class was a mixture of anatomy, orgasms and tantra. Plus some exercises to open to pleasure and desire that I could do with only women present. The curiosity was very high, the women had a hunger for my knowledge and experience.

It was a busy in my time in Shanghai, but the level of support and care I received was perfect. It was what I needed to be able to do the workshop with ease and grace. Plus I love Chinese food, finding it healthy and wholesome, so that helped.

The participants have given great feedback, they loved the workshop and went on we chat social media to talk about it in glowing terms.

As one of the Living Love trainees commented, ‘These brave, curious souls are choosing to change their lives and the destiny of their generations to come’. I honour their growth.

I’m going back to do more  workshops in December, adding a ‘How to be a Woman’ 4-day workshop….. it seems this is an issue in China as the women feel very neutral or masculinised, and want to change and explore their feminine essence. Now, in both men and women, there is a thirst for sexual discovery, personal growth, psychology, and opening to love.

So I feel very grateful for the opportunity to lead my Living Love workshop in Shanghai- what an experience!

with love

Cynthia

The post Living Love workshop in Shanghai appeared first on Living Love | Relationship Workshops & Coaching for Intimacy, Connection & Growth.