Most of us want to feel deeply loved, connected, and passionately alive. To feel secure in our relationships and free in our expression. To have an erotic life that feels playful and vibrant. We yearn for intimacy that feels safe, meaningful and exciting.
But how do we create this in a world that delivers crisis after crisis through the phones in our hands? Anxiety rises, disconnection increases, and security and playfulness feel far away.
The rapid pace of change in modern life and the dominance of digital communication have reshaped how we relate. Texts replace conversations. Screens steal presence. We are overstimulated but under nourished. Some say it’s even “breaking our brains” and fuelling today’s loneliness epidemic.
But we are not powerless.
We can still choose to move toward healing, loving, and connecting more deeply – whether we’re single or partnered. Good relationships remain our truest form of security and are worth our effort.
For centuries, people have prayed, meditated, and practiced to merge with the divine. Today, many of us seek that same sacred union through soulful connections with each other – through deep relating, honest intimacy, and sacred lovemaking.
We are all ‘flawsome’ beings — perfectly imperfect — and our messiness is part of what makes us human. When we connect authentically, we experience a divine wholeness and something in us awakens.
The smallest shift can lead to profound change. Start small, finish big.
6 Tools to Support a Life of Love, Intimacy and Connection:
1. Put Away Your Phone: Your attention is a gift. Whether alone or with someone, look up, look around. Presence is where connection begins. When you are meeting another person, turn your phone off – make the connection with them (and yourself) your top priority. Break the inbuilt addiction of our screens. In a sacred lovemaking space there is no room for pings and beeps that break the timelessness of love.
2. Be Together — Offline: Despite two decades of online matching and meeting, we are more isolated than ever. Greater togetherness happens in shared spaces. Breathe the same air. Touch, laughter, eye contact — these are sacred. Even talking on the phone is better than texting, which lacks nuance and warmth. Old fashioned maybe but savvy.
3. Move Your Body Every Day: Walk, stretch, dance, swim, breathe deeply – anything you can do to feel yourself more alive and grounded. Embodiment makes for a felt life, it makes intimacy exciting and sensual. In tune with our own bodies, we can sense, feel and merge with the other. Life is precious and we live through it in one precious body.
4. Open Up: True connection asks for courage and needs our vulnerability. When we reveal our tender selves, this invites deeper intimacy and trust. If we have been hurt in the past or criticised this can be scary but unless others can really see you, the intimacy stays shallow. Where it feels hard is where the rewards lie. Pick people you trust and take a risk.
5. Don’t Judge or Criticise: You don’t need to be perfect to be loved. And neither does the other. Authenticity, not perfection, creates meaningful connection – and brings greater love and intimacy. Each of us is stumbling towards love and learning along the way. We need space and freedom from judgement and criticism to progress and open up. Masculine and feminine are every different modes – seek to understand why he/she behaves the way they do.
6. Play: Don’t get stuck only in the hard work of relationships. Include joy, laughter, adventure, and sensuality in your relationships. Play heals and renews love and intimacy. And surprisingly makes it much easier to solve serious problems. Talk about the good times are see the energy shift.
These tools are the beginning of a more intimate, awakened life. And the sustaining of it too. I say it often, try something new and use these tools, and see how different your connections become.
I explore and deepen these practices in my work with couples and singles – in The Direct Path to Love & Intimacy Sessions and the Living Love in-person workshops.
With love
Cynthia
