Sacred sexuality is a different approach to lovemaking . Comparing it to ordinary sex is like comparing junk food with gourmet. But many of us are not shown how to have sacred sex, or we think it’s not for ordinary relationships. We can make it more complicated than it needs to be.
Sacred sex, or tantric sex, is a deeply connected, relaxed, and beautiful experience. Imagine embracing the waves of sexual energy – both the highs and the lows – enjoying the “valleys” that ebb and flow instead of focusing solely on building up and up to the “peaks” of orgasm, ejaculation and release. This approach nurtures deep connection, more pleasure and brings joy and energy into everyday life.
Non-goal-oriented sex offers an antidote to the unrealistic expectations fostered by society’s performance-driven intimacy. By being present, sensitive to touch, and open to love, sacred sexuality deepens the bond with a partner. It also invites you to ride the waves of divine energy and immerse yourself in the present moment.
On the sacred sex journey you may experience multiple or whole-body orgasms, explore fantasies and kinks, and express a range of energies, from gentle and sweet to ravishing and wild. You can sense the divine in this form of lovemaking, and it deeply improves intimate relationships. Connection is the central most important thing in sacred sexuality.
In my research and experience, sex and love can bring up strong feelings and experiences. Not all are pleasurable, and old wounds and insecurities can arise. Sacred sexuality integrates all aspects of being—love and presence, emotions, sensations and vulnerabilities. By slowing down, being authentic, breathing deeply, and taking time, we can experience tremendous pleasure, heal some past traumas, and create deep, meaningful connection. Sacred union also allows the natural polarity of masculine and feminine energies to express themselves organically.
Beginning Sacred Sexuality: Solo or Partnered
- Set Aside Time: Make intentional time for lovemaking without distractions. Even if it’s once a week it will make a difference. Gourmet sex, like a gourmet meal, takes time to savour and enjoy. Also, she generally needs more time than him to get fully aroused.
- Create a Sacred Space: Design a beautiful, simple, sensual, private and erotic environment. Or just light a scented candle and turn off your phones if that’s all you have time to do.
- Eye gazing: During lovemaking softly maintain eye contact to dissolve the sense of separateness. Come back to it again and again.
- Breathe Deeply: Take some full, deep breaths occasionally to anchor yourself in the moment and spread the erotic energy through your whole body not just focused in erotic zones.
- Synchronize Breathing: If partnered, gently match your breath with your partner’s and feel the oneness.
- Heart Connection: Place your right hand on your partner’s heart centre and your left hand on your belly. If solo, place your hands on your own belly and heart. Breathe fully and deeply.
- Go Slow: Don’t be in a rush to take it anywhere, rather let the bodies have their own wisdom. Let the energy guide you. Move slowly, then allow the passion to flow naturally. Pause often to stay connected to yourself, your partner, and the divine current.
- Feelings: Welcome feelings and emotions as part of the experience, you don’t have to understand or solve them, let them be there and breathe, relax and they will move through you, opening the door to deeper pleasure and closeness.
- Feedback and debrief: It’s ok to gently talk or journal about your experiences – keep it to “I” statements, they are easier to hear. We can all improve.
The Polarity of Masculine and Feminine Energies
Sacred sexuality embraces the polarity of masculine and feminine energies. The union of Presence and Love is a natural and exquisite experience.
The magnetism is expressed in many ways and this is an overview: the masculine sex centre is a positive pole (penetrative), while the feminine sex centre is a negative pole (receptive). The feminine heart centre is a positive pole (penetrative) and the masculine heart centre is a negative pole (receptive). This creates a circuit of energy.
For example, a loving and penetrative penis can awaken the feminine sexuality and send energy upward into her heart. Her awakened heart, in turn, energizes the masculine heart, completing the circuit by sending energy back to his sex centre. When both partners are attuned, this flow occurs naturally and profoundly. He enters sacred sexuality through the sex centre and she enters it through he heart.
This is why expecting the masculine to only be in the heart centre or Love, or the feminine to only be in the sex centre or Sex doesn’t work.
Reflection and Integrity
Reflect for yourself: What excites you about sacred sexuality? What fears or hesitations do you have?
As you deepen your practice of sacred sexuality, your personal power grows. It is essential to pair this growth with integrity, using these energies wisely and always in service of love.
Sacred sexuality is a journey toward profound transformation. You may need help to move in this direction, don’t be afraid to reach out to attend a workshop or do sessions.
Love
