In my workshops and sessions, I often encounter similar questions from men, and different questions from women. Overall I find there are 2 top intimacy questions.
Men’s Questions:
Men frequently ask, “How can I get her to open up to me? How do I get her to trust me more? How can I be more attractive to the right one?” Essentially, they are asking, “What can I do?” to make her more open, feel more desired, have more sexual intimacy, and achieve more peace. However, the real question should be
“Who can I be?”
Sometimes, the more you do, the less it works. The feminine will sense it if his actions come from the wrong place, or if he is trying too hard, abandoning his own self and overly focusing on her and her world. This lack of authenticity is not trustable, and it turns her off, even if she loves him.
Women can intuit if a man is uncomfortable with himself, lacking depth, or afraid to go beyond the superficial. Her body responds to how grounded and purposeful he is in his own life, how comfortable he is with his emotions and vulnerability. This grounded presence is what attracts her, makes her relax, lean towards him, and open up to him.
Men, can you sit quietly in your own being and then act from that place? Are you able to meditate and go inwards, either through a formal practice or by being in nature and quieting your mind? Action is important – offering her your appreciation, direction, and loving touch – but it’s not the first thing. Being comes before doing. The feminine is exquisitely attuned to how much the masculine is present in himself, and then to her.
So, the first step is to energize your own presence, purpose, and ability to feel. This is not dependent on the feminine, a relationship, or the quality of that relationship. In this freedom, you can be fully yourself and take responsibility for your own being. Being accountable to yourself and others allows natural polarity to emerge with the feminine, drawing her to your integrity and presence. Your loving actions towards her are then welcomed. She sees the heroic nature of your journey towards self-mastery that never ends.
Women’s Questions:
Women often ask, “How do I get more of my needs met in a relationship? How can I get him to listen and be there for me? Where do I find a partner?” Essentially, they are asking
“How can I be fully seen, appreciated, and loved as the woman I am?”
They long to be seen and witnessed as the radiant life force they are, to be accepted with the flow of feelings that swirl through them or lie in a deep pool beneath the surface. When he is present to that, without judgment or needing to fix her, she opens up to him and to herself.
He can feel how full she is in her feminine flow, emotional honesty, and desire for deep sacred loving, as well as how open she is to him. He is inspired by her energy and receptivity to his presence and masculine direction. He is attracted to her confidence and freedom to be herself and show him who she is.
Women, do you trust your own feminine essence? Are you okay with your feelings and emotions? Are you free in your body? It’s normal if you are not fully there yet; it’s a lifelong endeavour. However, you can take steps towards it now through movement, dance, therapy, and other practices. Opening your heart can be challenging if there has been hurt in past relationships, and professional help may be needed to work through that.
Letting go of barriers to love, softening into your vulnerability, and embracing your inner goddess begins to answer the question, “How can I be fully seen, appreciated, and loved as the woman I am?” If you don’t see yourself, how will anyone else? If you don’t share your beauty and love with the world, how will you be seen? When you do, you will attract a relationship where you are truly seen, appreciated, and loved.
It starts with us, and we only need to take small steps in the right direction. Whenever we have these 2 top intimacy questions questions, at whatever stage we are at, it’s a good time to look at who we are being, and that changes everything.
love
Cynthia
