Singles and Couples, you have no doubt noticed there are different modes of being, feeling and communicating in relationships and dating. Essential masculine & feminine energies are all around us and in us.
The masculine essence is the part of us that is present, conscious, directional, with penetrative focus and clarity. He is motivated by freedom, purpose, awareness, achieving his goals.
The feminine essence is the part of us that is flowing, feeling, caring and changeable. She loves variety and is motivated by love, fullness, connection and creativity.
We all have both but most people have one essence stronger than the other, where they feel more at home. When we are in touch with our core sexual essence, there is a deep sense of alignment and self-understanding.
We don’t need to be ‘neutral’ to be spiritual, loving and aware beings. The desire for love and igniting the spark of sexual polarity is natural and part of living a sacred life. Opposites attract, and so do masculine and feminine. If you have a mostly feminine essence then you will find the masculine energy magnetic, and vica versa.
In relationship the union of masculine and feminine is this union of opposites that can dance together as equal but different. The allure is to the unknown other, not to what is the same as you.
Celebrating the different strengths, needs and gifts of masculine and feminine essences makes a relationship much more dynamic and sexier. Making this a priority may mean less time spent together in neutralising activities and tasks, in favour of having more aliveness and spark.
This also applies if you are single. From the initial contact online or on a date you are embodying and communicating who you are. Your masculine and feminine energies are attracting others. Or not. It is important to know your own essence and how to enjoy it and share it, so you can attract your opposite.
Sometimes our jobs and roles in life mean we need and use more directional, masculine energy or more flowing, feminine energy. At work we all usually use more masculine energy. In intimacy and dating, we want to be coming naturally into our core essence so we attract our opposite. One person does not have to hold the same energy all the time, it can change, however most people are more often at home in either masculine or feminine essence.
If you have a masculine essence then being magnetic to the feminine is about being rooted in your power and strength, inviting trust, being calm in the face of stress, yet ready to pounce into action as needed. It’s also about having a sense of nobility, service, humour and compassionate detachment from all the moods and struggles of life (and the feminine).
Being magnetic is also about the depth of your commitment to your life purpose and mission. Your presence and depth, combined with warm-heartedness and vulnerability is essentially what is sexy about the masculine. You don’t need to be great dancer, or the best-looking guy. If you are committed to staying steady while she weaves her magic storms and sparkles around you, you will be magnetic.
If you are a woman with a feminine essence, which is most women, then being magnetic to the masculine is about being in your body and heart with confidence, love, mystery and feeling. It’s about allowing your body and energy to move and flow.
Letting your heart shine open in an unprotected way, allowing your feelings, being unpredictable, and being more mysterious than rational. Your tears can be a gift of your heart as well as your smiles. Trusting your unique intuition and intelligence and gifting it to others. All of this is the bliss of the feminine and is very attractive and inspiring to the masculine.
The desire for love and the erotic union of masculine and feminine runs deep, and yet there is little teaching in how to achieve this. And what teaching or information we do have is primarily misguided.
We have been told that continual intimacy, complete honesty, and sharing everything with your partner makes for great relationship. But the truth is this doesn’t necessarily lead to igniting that spark of sexual polarity and passionate devotion that makes a relationship alive.
In fact, passion can be killed off in the cosy warmth of domestic life. The friend zone takes over, as can co-parenting. They are extremely valuable but there is more to your relationship. And talking about psychological problems together needs to be limited. It is useful at times for trust and understanding, but it doesn’t usually create polarity of desire and attraction.
This mystery and the pull of magnetic attraction can be created, maintained and nurtured within modern relationships.
I see how women want their men to be like their girlfriends, then they complain they are not manly enough. Men make their women into co-workers or buddies and wonder why the goddess no longer shows up. We cannot be everything to each other, it’s just not possible, or desirable. Look to your friends, family and the wider community to fulfil some of the needs and keep the relationship as the union of masculine and feminine essences. Of course, occasionally we can be all of these things to each other, but if we are depending on it all the time, it leads to frustration and disappointment, and it doesn’t have to be that way.
If you are dating and opening up to a new partner, then knowing how and when to magnify your own essence as an attractive force, and how to be spiritually sexy, is a great art to learn. Don’t give everything away, take your time, and let the energy build. Hold onto yourself and your essence, after all this is what is attracting the other to you.
I hope that Essential Masculine & Feminine Part 1 has been valuable to you. Part 2 will follow soon with more details and practical things you can do.
with love and trust,