The polarity between masculine and feminine energies is what creates magnetic attraction and erotic connection between people. That can happen with a stranger, where there may be no love at all. When you have Polarity + Love you have a potent mix of desire and connection. Love provides the trust and the alignment, while polarity provides the desire and the thrill of the unknown.
This difference between masculine and feminine essence is also the source of much modern angst, spawning countless internet memes, comedy skits and lots of advice (mine included). They really are different modes – She is the flowing, feeling ever changing part of us, relating focused. He is the solid, non-changing aspect that is mission focused.
Many people, whether in a relationship or dating, decide to just give up on polarity and opt for ‘sameness’. This brings harmony, but not passion. Often they had the passion at the beginning of their relationship, but it has waned over time. It does that mostly because of familiarity and merging, which can feel good, but it erodes the sense of the erotic other. And looking outside your relationship to find that can lead to mistrust and breakups.
It can seem safer to be more neutralised and blurred in our relationships, more companionable, but we can be equal and different. Polarity + Love is achievable. To me there is great value in having both. When trust is there, when love is the compass, the polarity goes much deeper.
For years I have been exploring the ways to increase both these powerful forces. And you can too. But firstly we must see the value of putting in the work to create it, whether in a relationship or looking for one. In the disrupted times we are living in, the solidity of a relationship that includes both of these elements is grounding, reassuring and productive.
We mostly don’t have the same traditional roles of the past, and that’s a good thing to be free of stereotyped roles, but we still have the desire to have desire!
And we always want to love and be loved, in our own way.
With love,
Reading about polarity is one thing, feeling it is another. In a one-on-one or couples session with Cynthia Connop, you’ll learn how to embody these dynamics in daily life. Explore sessions here.
