As we navigate our way out of lockdown and border closures, especially in Australia but also elsewhere, there are unique challenges for singles. Old fears and disappointments can resurface as dating resumes. It can be discouraging to have no-show coffee dates, rude online behaviour, even meeting nice people you are not attracted to. Some people are reluctant to start dating again, others are scared to actually meet the person they have been chatting to online for three months. A few go the distance and stay open and positive. But the desire to meet a partner for an intimate relationship doesn’t go away, it just gets buried in the “too hard basket.” Below are 3 ways to stay positive when single.
Occasionally but rarely that perfect person drops in your lap and they want the same thing you do. But it can also take a while to meet someone right, and it can be hard to stay open and present. In the process, our masculine consciousness and feminine radiance can get dimmed. These 3 ways to stay positive when single are helpful at any time.
- Work on what is in the way of intimacy for you. When you are in a relationship this work around intimacy will continue, so it is good to start now. For example, if you are living a hermit lifestyle (masculine) and dreaming of a sexy goddess in your bed, there are probably a few steps to take along the way. Like learning how to relate more openly to people in general. Come down from the mountain and engage, take risks, open your heart, give your gifts. This is how she will find you anyway. Or if you are seeking the perfect love (feminine), you would have to be a perfect and that is a lot of pressure to put on a tender meeting of two human beings. Are you being so careful because you have been hurt in past relationships? Whatever it is for you, if you work on your blocks to full heart-openness, you will feel good and find a pathway opening up towards relationship. Therapy and embodiment practices are great things to do at this time.
- Have boundaries that serve you. Take your time getting to know someone’s character before you leap in. And if something isn’t right, it isn’t right. Trust the energy in your body. Even as we rush out into ‘real life’, you don’t have to rush dating. One thing that has been good about lockdowns is it has made people slow down on their dating process. A first in-person date that’s all about being curious and getting to know and enjoy someone, is intelligent. Sometimes people ignore their own wisdom and do things they would not normally do, or accept behaviour they would not usually accept. Then the date or new relationship goes pear-shaped and they have reinforced their negative beliefs and attitudes. So ‘dating is awful’, there is ‘nobody out there for me’, people are just ‘users’ etc. No, that’s not true unless you make it so.
- Show up as YOU – flaws and all. Don’t try too hard. Perhaps you tried so hard in the past and it still didn’t work. When you are being authentic you will feel more relaxed and your energy will flow more too. If you tend to present yourself how you think others will like you, it offers a false self that isn’t sustainable long-term. And it is exhausting. Dating does take some effort, but you don’t need to ‘try’. The date unfolds naturally when you are being yourself and you are not focused on how you are being perceived. This frees you up to focus on the other person. If you are being yourself and your date is not interested, then they are not the right person for you. This way you stay with yourself whatever happens. It also makes you more attractive. The right person will be drawn to the real you. When you accept your flaws it helps the other person relax and be natural too. Both of you feel safe and your true essence can come through more fully.
Using these 3 ways to stay positive when single will go a long way to keeping you happy and relaxed while dating. If you are out there doing it, you are already doing well. You are a risk taker and a courageous person.
If you are unable to become positive again you may need some help to shift past experiences. Reach out for support so you can be available for love.