Christmas holidays are coming up and for many people it’s a time for family, friends, parties or just having a quiet break to restore and recharge after a busy year. Why not use this time to reignite your intimate life, whether you are single or partnered? Here are 5 Tips for Your Intimacy recharge.
Our sexual energy and intimacy are natural and beautiful aspects of our human life. Sadly, if sex and/or intimacy becomes difficult, or a source of conflict or shame we start avoiding it, finding excuses to do other things. “I’m way too busy to go on dates”. “I’m just too tired to have sex”. “They are not so attractive to me anymore.” “I have family staying and need to look after them”. “It’s school holidays…”
Many of these excuses are really protection from past hurts and disappointments, or not knowing what to do to improve your intimacy.
For couples who are together for many years, it is common for the sexual spark to lessen. There can be deep love, but things can get very functional, and you can start to drift apart. As hard as it can be to face, it’s worth prioritizing a pathway back to that wonderful closeness and passion.
Many singles are happy with their full lives, so the effort and time needed to start a new relationship can be daunting. Or deep-down there is discouragement which creates cynicism. Be honest about what you really want and align your actions with that. Don’t wait for love.
What do you do to cultivate intimacy in your life?
Here are 5 Tips that will help you recharge your intimacy:
- First up
Couples: Plan regular time slots just for you two, no matter how busy you are. Put it in the calendar and guard it fiercely. Because you do matter. Make some of this time where you are in a private comfortable space and can lie down and bring your bodies together, whether sexually or just touching and breathing gently together. Reconnect, with little talking, more feeling. Check in afterwards with other.
Take a risk with some silly sex play… dressing up, new places to make love or go on dates, whatever feels good. Laugh.
Singles: This is a great time to meet new people as many singles are on holidays and wanting to connect. But do you have space for that to happen? If you are into online dating, go search, click, swipe, whatever and make coffee dates. If not online dating take time to be where people can see you and approach you. Ask your friends to look out for you and make introductions.
- Release the armour
Let go of body tensions, stiffness and soreness with massage, stretching, yoga, summer swims etc. This destressing makes you more alive and relaxed and you can bring this to your intimacy and connection. Without your body “armour” you will feel more open and ready for love. Do it at the beginning of your holiday if you can.
As the year ends, it’s a good time to reflect on what’s ending for you and create space for new intimacy in your life. No forcing, just acknowledging what you are letting go of, what has come full cycle, and let it dissolve. With your favourite drink late at night or on your yoga mat at dawn – make some notes and feel it. And the space that opens as a result.
- Dream and discover
Spend some quality time alone to nurture your own essence. Connection with yourself becomes the offering to your partner or future partner. Get to know what you truly want and are ready to give. What are your fears? Listen to your dreams, meditate, journal, share, dance it out, whatever your method of reflection and strengthening the channel to your inner world. Surprise your beloveds, take some sexy risks when appropriate. Get ready for the new year to come.
- Rsvp please!
Be fearless about your invitation into intimacy. Be open to others invitation too. This may be a partner, friends or family. People who are coming together for connection and fun can also go home feeling their intimate lives have been enriched.