Most of us have an idea of what it means to be sexy or to find someone else sexy. They have a vibrant sexual energy, are flirtatious, funny, open and available, confident, alluring, passionate. This can be highly desirable until we come across the spiritually sexy man or woman and it rocks our world. Are you spiritually sexy?

Being spiritually sexy means having an embodied masculine or feminine essence that is rooted both in the sexual and the sacred. We are familiar with spiritual value and actions  – meditation, kindness, service to others, higher self awareness, being light. Being spiritual and sexy is an ultimate fusion. Every cell of your body becomes energized with the sacred life force and this is realized in your life and relationships.

A sexy person is attractive, and that can be a good thing. But that can blind us to other things – do they have honourable intentions, or are they driven by narcissism or greed? For women it can take painful experiences to learn that the sexy lover who so beautifully tunes in and guides you on the dance floor, may not be the spiritually sexy man who will open you through a multitude of challenges in a long-term relationship. In face he may be a klutzy dancer.

Similarly men can be misled by a woman’s looks and ‘hot’ body shape that promises ultimate sensual fulfillment. Beauty is captivating and men may overlook a woman whose essence is enchanting on more subtle levels, a woman whose radiant heart will glow long after her looks change. Or a partner who will support him in his life mission, devoted to love and naturally challenge him to be a better man.

What are the spiritually sexy qualities of the masculine and feminine?

The spiritually sexy man helps other people wake up to a deeper reality. Others seek his guidance and are drawn to his energy. He’s real, about himself and others. No bullshit. No excuses. He isn’t swayed by distractions. When he commits to something, he means it. He stares death in the face.

A spiritually sexy man really gets who and what the glorious feminine is, and is fully surrendered to his desire. Unafraid, he revels in her, he protects her, he makes her life better. Letting himself be fully loved by his chosen women. He knows who he is, so he can meet her. His love embraces sickness, childbirth, ageing, emotions and the changes of life.

I asked some of the Living Love trainees what is spiritually sexy to them in men?

For Marga, he is ‘The man who loves to walk through his inner world without fear, who can meet me everywhere even when we fuck up, who can laugh with me, at our imperfections as we fall into bed or onto the forest floor or into the ocean or….or…… Oh – and a tool belt helps.’

Nicola finds a man on purpose appealing, ‘When a man stands strong in your feminine storm. When you’re grumpy and he spanks your bum or makes you laugh. When he follows his purpose but still gives you the depth of his presence to show you how important you are to him…. Oh and anything that involves practical stuff …. that I just can’t do!!!’

And for Ozlem, ‘Two words: Bradley Cooper. My idea of spiritually sexy. His presence, centeredness, deep blue eyes with a rich soul, goes for what he wants with no hesitation, the way he takes his woman, gentleness, his physique and open body, compassionate.’

 While Candace loves, ‘A deep warmth and kindness that is curl-up-and-let-go trustable. An unwavering inner stillpoint. More solid than an oak. Aligned with his integrity and connected to his heart.’

And what about spiritually sexy women?

For Matt, ‘When a woman makes herself available through eye contact, when she is in her body with expressive bodily movements eventuated at the hips, easy and open to communicate with…’

Many women try and fit an ideal. They want to be attractive and desirable and forget that deep men love a woman who is being herself. Her unique foibles are endearing and her connection to herself is vital.

Nick says, ‘For me spiritually sexy has little or nothing to do with physical beauty. It is a woman who is relaxed into her power and comfortable in her own skin.’

And for Graeme ‘I also find that woman that know themselves spiritually, are the ones that I often find the most attractive.’

Graeme went on to describe himself, ‘I feel alive and driven by a deep consciousness, whenever I fully allow myself to drop into my spiritual side completely. For me it has a feel of being ordinary, powerful, sexy and vulnerable...’

How do we attract a spiritually sexy partner? How do we be more spiritually sexy ourselves?

Being true to what matters to us in a partner has the power to call it forth in others. As Nick says, ‘She demands that I rise and meet that challenge with full presence and a heart so wide open I am at once incredibly vulnerable and supremely invincible.’

Knowing how to discern what is spiritually sexy, we may find that it does not fit the conventional stereotypes. Being willing to wait for a man or a woman that has these qualities or is developing them is essential. Not letting superficial desires distract you from the real deal. Hold true and the universe gets the message.

We attract our reciprocal. This means doing the work to open up, deepen, offer our gifts to others and receive theirs. To appreciate what we value in another, to name it helps it grow too.

What do you find spiritually sexy? Who is spiritually sexy to you? How can you be more spiritually sexy?

with love,

Cynthia