With the current pandemic, we have restrictions on how we live and work. With the Easter holiday starting, these Coronavirus – Couples and singles tips for lockdown or isolation will be especially helpful.
FOR COUPLES
If you are a couple suddenly together in isolation then you may be running into some problems. Old patterns and conflicts resurfacing, sexual issues unresolved. In this crisis is an opportunity to find the deeper love and freedom between you, and create new possibilities.
We need space in intimate relationships to feel the pull of attraction, and that physical and emotional space is in short supply right now. Roles that were somewhat fixed are now all mixed up together. Partner, parent, lover, cook, carer, teacher – they no longer have defined space, and you have to be flexible. Having your own separate life and then meeting up at the end of the day has gone for many couples. We also need difference for attraction to happen.
Suddenly what was mildly irritating in your partner before, can be so frustrating at this time. Criticism and withdrawal, fighting and aggression can get amplified when stuck together in a tense, anxious time. Sexuality can diminish too. Boredom is a risk factor!
Disasters historically create more marriages and more divorces. Whatever is already present in the relationship is intensified. But there are small ways to make a big difference and improve, enhance your relationship. If love and trust are your foundation, these tips will help.
What helps?
· Take the time to know your own needs and communicate about them calmly and ongoingly. They will change. Listen to theirs and have space to receive their needs and wishes, even if you can’t fulfil them.
· Sort out separate spaces in your house or apartment that are private, even if in the same room. An imaginary or real “do not disturb sign” is to be respected when in that space. Deliberately spend time apart that is not just work time, or time with children.
· Plan at least once a week, like Saturday night or Sunday morning to have time apart and then come together. (Put the kids in front of a fascinating movie if necessary.) Increase your masculine or feminine essence while apart, before you meet.
· To cultivate feminine essence enjoy sensual, opening activities like a warm bath, a walk to open your senses (not just exercise), feel, dance, chat with friends. Practice surrender and flow.
· To cultivate masculine essence be intentional, meditate, do a challenging workout, be online with men. Practice depth and direction.
· Come together after this time alone and feel the polarity between you. Don’t try and pull them into your mode, enjoy the difference and offer love through your essence. This may be sensual, sexual or communing your way. Direction and surrender together creates polarity. The more the masculine one holds the container, the more the feminine one will relax. You can also play with swapping these energies and see what happens.
· Sleeping alone occasionally increases polarity and attraction for many couples, but not if this feels too hard at this time.
· Play, surprise, gift your partner. Be spontaneous. Fully dress up for a meal occasionally.
· Offer a range of energies to each other, from light to dark, gentle to fierce, always through the heart to serve love. It is energising to dance and play with anger and frustration.
· Give up the desire to be right. You may have very different views on the pandemic crisis and how it should be managed. Feel your heart and the heart of the other, beyond right and wrong. Choose love.
· Know that many people are under the stress of difficult emotions. You are not responsible for what the other is feeling, and yet we are interconnected. Be compassionate but don’t be the rescuer. Rather empower them to work it out for themselves.
· Do activities together that are bonding and blissful for both of you. Outdoor nature adventures where allowed, massage, playing silly games, sexually be adventurous. Don’t be together just for chores and admin or watching screens.
These Coronavirus – Couples and singles tips for lockdown – are also good general wisdoms to follow at any time.
FOR SINGLES
If you are single, surprisingly the pandemic can be a very good opportunity to try new options, reset and reconnect with your vision for relationship.
The coronavirus regulations can be affecting you in very different ways. Some people are happily taking a break from dating and getting on with life. Others are yearning for relationship and envious of the couples who are physically close right now. Some are feeling sexually frustrated and unsure how long they can last alone. Couples who split up recently are dealing with strong grief as well as unfamiliar isolation.
If you relied on your community and friends for loving touch and connection, it is hard to replace, unless you are in a shared household. Virtual community is helpful, but it is not the same.
This is a potentially confusing time to be dating and looking for a partner or a lover. Do you have to resign yourself to being single and/or celibacy?
What helps?
· If you have been reluctant to try online dating, or even given up on it, this is a chance to try it without too much commitment involved. Online dating starts as usual with winks and swipes and messages. Now instead of progressing into real life meetups, people are opting for virtual coffee dates and meals. The positive thing is that it gives you time to relax and build a connection. Also, to discern if the other person is right for you before the cascade of romance and sex hormones take over. One dating app has even created romantic backdrops for your virtual zoom dates!
· A word of caution though – if you spend a lot of time building an online relationship as it provides good company during this time, you can find it falls apart when you do meet up physically. So, same as in real life, don’t put everything into the one connection until you are sure it’s what you want.
· Deciding to take a deliberate break from dating can be an empowering option. Then you can use the social isolation to prepare for future relationships by growing as much as possible. A great time to reassess your vision for relationship, deal with your issues, raise your vibration and meet someone of a different calibre when isolation ends. What do you really need and want in an intimate relationship? And what will the person you want, be looking for? If you are currently a ‘couch potato’ searching for an amazing god or goddess, will they be interested in you?
· What would you like to master in your life? Having a new skill or creative expression, a fitness goal etc will be beneficial. Especially for the masculine essence a challenging goal will keep you digging deeper into focused awareness. This is a time to do that, to be fulfilling yourself and moving forward. What was your childhood dream?
· Take lots of time to be outside if you can. Walking, swimming, bike riding etc. Waving, smiling, connecting with others at a distance all helps rise your spirits.
· Loving touch can be self-given. Warm up some massage oil, or whatever you have at hand, and apply it with awareness and sensual touch, all over the body. Breathe and enjoy the sensations. If it feels sexual you can move into self-pleasuring.
· Give from your unique sexual essence. It does not need to be given solely in a relationship. Others need your feminine radiance, love and feeling nature. Who can you shine on today? Or your masculine direction and guidance, your trustability. Who can you create safety for today?
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Whatever our situation we have the freedom to respond with gratitude, openness and resilience. And it is essential to reach out for help if we need it at this time.
I hope these – Coronavirus – couples and singles tips for lockdown – make your time more passionate, loving and exciting.
with love
