Everyday miracles for couples means that by infusing our day to day lives with love and a spark of attraction, things may still be tense, stressful or downright tough, but the flame that you are nurturing between you is real and even magical. When we first fall in love with the ‘other’ there is often a period of grace where we feel this flame naturally as a magnetic attraction, but sustaining it through the years requires learning and cultivating the art of loving. And we don’t get a lot of help for how to do that.
I often hear women say “He just wants sex and I want the emotional connection first.” Without realising that for him the emotional connection comes through sex. Both want the same thing but have different pathways to get there. No way is right or better, when they work together is the best.
The current social trend of neutrality between the sexes supports a necessary push for greater equality, but it can deny our deeper desires for feminine and masculine interplay. Imagine a culture of recognition and encouragement of both the feminine and masculine, synergistically combining our different powers to create an expansion of life and love.
However, it’s common for couples to struggle with these differences, either by resisting this interplay or by settling into a more “friend” state of being, such as being housemates or co-parenting, instead of embracing their deeper sacred polarity. Misunderstandings, past hurts, broken expectations can play a part in diminishing the flame. Here are some tips for Everyday Miracles for couples to help reorient your relationship.
Understanding and Embracing Polarity
- Appreciate Your Differences: Understand that the essence of masculine and feminine brings a vital dynamic to your relationship known as magnetic polarity. These differences can fuel passion and enhance love when embraced positively. We are not the same. You don’t want him to be like a girlfriend or her to be like a mate, not really.
- Support Each Other’s Needs: Recognize and support each other’s unique needs and desires. For instance, when a feminine partner supports the masculine’s need for freedom and purpose, it enriches his ability to provide and protect. Conversely, a masculine partner should support the feminine’s need for emotional expression and creativity. These are not exclusive and can change at different times in our lives, but usually we have more of one essence than the other.
Cultivating Time and Space
- Make Time for Individual Growth: In our busy lives, it’s crucial for each partner to have time to nourish their own essence. Encourage and support each other to engage in activities that resonate with their nature—whether it’s time alone or with same sex groups. Or pursuing a passion. We don’t have to share everything as then we have nothing fresh to bring to the relationship. We need the treasures of our unique selves to give to the other.
- Prioritize Your Relationship Wellness: Regularly commit to activities that nurture your relationship in deeper connection and intimacy, such as couple’s therapy or counselling. Making time to be alone together is necessary, even if it feels scary. This commitment can strengthen communication, and prevent misunderstandings that limit the love that flows between you. Date nights should be scheduled in and aimed to have fun, not for discussing issues or family matters. Be adventurous together.
Enhancing Connection and Intimacy
- Communicate Openly: We are communicating all the time, in verbal and non-verbal ways. And some of that is less than masterful. Find out how to listen and speak and give from your heart, even when you down feel like it. This helps in expressing love and resolving conflicts. Seek to understand rather than blame and you will be surprised at what can open up between you. Vulnerable “confession” is sexy.
- Engage in Sexual and Spiritual Exploration: Celebrate your union by engaging in activities that deepen your sexual and spiritual connections. This could include sexual play, tantra, meditation, or simply exploring new experiences together. The masculine tends to connect through sexual closeness and the feminine tends to connect through emotional closeness, so both are needed.
- Honor and Appreciate Each Other: Regularly take time to express appreciation for each other. Celebrate both the feminine and masculine qualities in your partner, recognising the unique contributions they bring to your relationship. Spend a few minutes a day telling each other what you appreciated about each other in the last 24 hours is a good way to start. If we think it but don’t say it, it doesn’t count.
Regular Practices for a Healthy Relationship
- Set Aside Quality Time: Life can get hectic, and relationships may be put on the back burner. Make a deliberate effort to set aside quality time to just be together, away from the routines of daily life. This will infuse the everyday with your unique love.
- Practice Connection Rituals: Engage in rituals that foster connection, such as date nights (or days), holidays away, doing breathing exercises together, or simply holding space for each other to share thoughts and feelings without judgment. Find out what works and do more of it.
- Seek Professional Guidance When Needed: Don’t hesitate to seek help through therapy or coaching to address and resolve underlying issues. This is a proactive way to maintain a healthy relationship dynamic.
By integrating these practices, couples can experience everyday miracles and keep their attraction, intimacy & love flourishing. And enhancing both their personal growth and their growth as a couple.
with love,
