The desire for love and the erotic union of masculine and feminine runs deep, and yet there is little teaching in how to actually achieve this. And what teaching or information we do have is primarily misguided.
We have been told that continual intimacy, complete honesty, and sharing everything with your partner makes for great relationship. But the truth is this doesn’t necessarily lead to igniting that spark of sexual polarity and passionate devotion that makes a relationship alive.
In fact passion can be killed off in the cosy warmth of domestic life. Too much honesty can hurt another person or create conflict. And I am not advocating lying or deception here, but rather a subtle compassion as to what needs to be shared with the other. We don’t need to hear the bad stuff when it is something we can’t change, better to celebrate and appreciate the good stuff.
And talking about psychological problems together needs to be limited. It can be useful at times for trust and understanding, but it doesn’t usually create desire and attraction.
Talking too much to your partner in general can lead to boredom and taking each other for granted. Or to thinking you know everything about them. Intimacy can lead to a brother/sister type of relating. We are actually changing all the time – and mystery is exciting.
Mystery and the pull of magnetic attraction
This mystery and the pull of magnetic attraction needs to have a sense of difference to ignite. And this can be created, maintained and nurtured within modern relationships.
Celebrating the different needs and gifts of masculine and feminine essences makes a relationship much more dynamic and sexy. Accepting this as a priority may mean less time spent together in favour of more aliveness and attraction.
I see how women want their men to be like their girlfriends, then they complain they are not manly enough. Men make their women into co-workers or buddies and wonder why the goddess no longer shows up. We cannot be everything to each other, it’s just not possible, or desirable. Look to your friends, family and the wider community to fulfil some of the needs and keep the relationship as the union of masculine and feminine essences. Of course occasionally we can be all of these things to each other, but if we are depending on it all the time, it leads to frustration and disappointment, and it doesn’t have to be that way.
If you are dating and opening up to a new partner
If you are dating and opening up to a new partner, then knowing how and when to magnify your own essence as an attractive force, and how to be spiritually sexy, is a great art to learn. Don’t give everything away, take your time, and let the energy build. Hold onto yourself and your essence, after all this is what is attracting the other to you. Enjoying time apart will make you both more keen to see each other. Dress up for your dates, be comfortable to be masculine or feminine. Appreciate each other.
The Union of Masculine and Feminine is not a merger, it’s a union of opposites that can dance together as a celebration of differences. The allure is from the unknown other, not from sameness.
with love and trust,
