Freedom is sexy

Cynthia Connopessence, feminine, Love tips, masculine, polarity, relationships, sexy, spiritually sexy3 Comments

Freedom tattoo

What is freedom? Basically it is the liberty to direct the course of our own life, to move around freely, to make our own decisions. Freedom is so valuable that we take it away as the ultimate punishment for criminals. And the experience of inner freedom is highly sought after.

People who have achieved inner freedom are sexy. And powerful. We can feel this as a resonance of the divine masculine and feminine, gods and goddesses. There are differences in how the masculine and feminine essences live free. (For the sake of ease I refer here to men as masculine essence and women as feminine essence, but this is not always the case).

‘masculine desire for freedom is a core need’

Freedom is sexyThe masculine desire for freedom is a core need and often sought in financial freedom, travel, activism, space, drug experiences, being in the wilderness, extreme sports etc. At the next level it is living his deepest life purpose.

However, his desire is ultimately to be spiritually free, regardless of circumstances, to be ‘enlightened’. To be connected to the source of pure being, free from attachment and identification.

Flying in the clouds, aware, free, limitless. Spiritual seekers have pursued this thru the ages. Warriors find it facing fear, the silent zen of the samurai, monk-like meditations, contemplation of scriptures, dissolving the mind, the zone of running. A man who is in rooted in his being, facing his fear, is free……and freedom is sexy.

‘the freedom to fully express herself’

Woman- freedom in nature - freedom is sexyFreedom for the feminine is the freedom to fully express herself, to be all of the flavours of love that she is. To be dancing in the flow of her ever-changing feeling nature – the abundant, destructive, nurturing, wild, loving goddess.

Being fully loved and loving.

Giving her creative gifts to the world under her own power, her own sovereignty. For her sexuality to be fully allowed in ecstatic intensity and unbounded radiance. A woman in her power and in her open self-expression is free… and freedom is sexy, spiritually sexy.


We each have both masculine and feminine energies, however most of us experience ourselves as predominantly one or the other, unless we have a neutral essence. A woman may experience a big need for freedom, and this can be a result of a genuine masculine energy she has, or a need to be fully free to be her whole feminine self. It can also come from a feeling of repression in childhood, religion, or in her culture. If it is a compensating masculine drive it can be diminishing her ability to live her feminine longing for connection, closeness and relating. This can repel the masculine essence.

A man can have a deep need for freedom of expression too, and this can lead him to become flowing and energetically dancing in his feminine energy. If this is out of balance he can experience freedom as an avoidance of his deepest commitments and responsibilities. He is the archetype of the eternal youth, even as an older man, wondering why his life feels superficial or empty. or why he keeps attracting women with strong masculine energy.

‘And how do we attain true freedom?’

Couple embracingSo, what is an ideal state of freedom? And how do we attain that?

When we are free we are in alignment with our own life, and our essence, even when it’s tough. When we are connected to source or moving back to connection. And, within our capacity, when we are free in our bodies and breath, to experience the life force moving through us.

Our ability to do that makes us spiritually sexy.

If you are feeling trapped or stuck, it can all feel impossible to change. So, why not begin with what is within your grasp to do easily.





Breath more fully into the whole torso area. Continually throughout the day

Find a way to bring more strength and flexibility into the body – martial arts, pilates, yoga, stretching, training etc.

Daily practice of meditation, contemplation, detachment, absorbing spiritual truth – 5 mins will do to start

Start a hobby or activity where you feel free – surfing, skating, music, fishing etc.

Have body work to free up contracted tensions


Know your life purpose and live it a little more each day

Take time to be alone to recharge your core essence

Spend some regular time with men only – where you feel free

Take full responsibility for what you choose in life

Trust your masculine energy in relationship with the feminine – ask her to meet you

Learn ejaculation control so you have mastery over this in love making

Make a career out of what you love doing, or find away to love what you do


Breath more fully into the whole torso area. Continually throughout the day

Find a way to bring more freedom of movement, strength and flexibility into the body – pilates, yoga, dance. Know your capacity and make it fairly easy to start, and enjoyable

Take time for restorative, nourishing practices, such as yin yoga, massage, being in nature

Practice expressing yourself through different sounds and movements – variety is good


Trust your intuitive, feeling nature (not the same as being run by emotions)

Relax into deep receptivity and let go of ‘doing’ for a time

Master a skill where you can express your energy in a natural way – singing, music, art, crafts etc.

Know your body and your sexual feelings, sensations and needs

Let your feminine love flow freely however it wants to

Spend time often with women only, where you can feel unrestrained

Make a career out of what you love doing

‘we don’t need to do it all alone’

Both masculine and feminine essence: we don’t need to do it all alone, and in fact I don’t think we actually can. Our society encourages conformity to materialistic goals and status needs. We need to be with the individuals and communities who value true freedom, rooted in responsibility and love.

Choose relationships where you support each other’s need for freedom within the intimacy. And remember, freedom is sexy. We are attracted to each other more when we are both free.

And do your individual work in sessions and attend workshops and courses with people who will support your freedom from psychological and embodied habits of contraction. Who see your free, true self and will nudge you lovingly towards it.

With love and appreciation,


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