Valentine’s Day has a rich history, encompassing both gruesome Christian martyrdom (Saint Valentine), pagan fertility rituals (a wild Roman festival), and romantic love (thanks to the likes of Shakespeare, Chaucer, and eventually Hallmark Cards). Today however Valentine’s Day is often associated with the commercial exploitation of romance. Our expectations of what the day should be like are shaped by media … Read More
Intimacy: from Struggles to Love
In intimate relationships, things can go wrong for a variety of reasons, including poor communication (why can’t they just listen!), lack of trust (he never changes), infidelity (she betrayed me) and differences in values or goals. These problems can lead to feelings of hurt, frustration, and resentment, and the resulting struggles can cause the deterioration of the relationship. Transforming intimacy: … Read More
Security and Sizzle
The beginning of the New Year is a good time for some forward movement in our lives and relationships. Not by pushing and prodding ourselves to do better (that didn’t work last year anyway, right) but by a sweet and clear reflection on what you want and need. It sounds simple but many of us are disconnected from what we … Read More
5 Tips for Your Intimacy Recharge
Christmas holidays are coming up and for many people it’s a time for family, friends, parties or just having a quiet break to restore and recharge after a busy year. Why not use this time to reignite your intimate life, whether you are single or partnered? Here are 5 Tips for Your Intimacy recharge. Our sexual energy and intimacy are natural … Read More
Being so caring isn’t so sexy
Are you stuck in being too caring in your relationships? Do you feel love but not attraction for your partner? Are you dating people who want you to be their friend but not their lover? Many of us are taught that it is good to be kind, caring, supportive and helpful in relationships. We are not told that this can … Read More
The Big Love Myth
I hear it a lot – if your relationship isn’t working or you have had a painful break-up, or you are unhappily single, it is because of the big love myth “You have to love yourself first before anyone else will.” It has almost become a cliche, that self-love is the cure all. What comes to mind is images of … Read More
Push & Pull of Attraction
Often the push & pull of attraction is seen and mirrored in the body, in our body language, our presence. We do things that attract people or push them away. The dance of attraction between two people has many components but one that I often see is in the space between a couple. It can be as simple as he is leaning too far … Read More
Are You Really Listening?
In the therapeutic work I do with couples I find that being able to really listen to each other is a big factor in relationship satisfaction. And this is not just true for couples, it is important in all our relationships. In this article I want to share some insights and a case study to find out – Are you … Read More
Sacred Sexuality
Early on in my adult life I experienced some slow, sacred lovemaking, without knowing or defining it as sacred sexuality or tantra. I just felt that I entered into a transcendental energy. Years later it was spiritual teacher Osho that introduced me to the concept of tantra as an ancient philosophy and a spiritual path, the essence of which can … Read More
The Language of Love
The Language of Love Below I explore the Language of Love through the lens of the 3 Stages of Love. (You can check that out or read on). In each stage we can attempt to connect with another person deeply and intimately, with more or less success. With practice we may evolve through the stages. Or often we find ourselves … Read More